These are the types of guys who wear camo pants to the stadium, get arguments over beer pong while tailgating and blasting Back Black out of a 1999 Chevy S10 as if they’re the first ones ever to think of listening to DC before big. Amos: Our Brandon Bass Jersey kids have nothing to look forward to. Arash: One time I walked into a Foot Locker and asked if they had Buffalo Bills jerseys, and the clerk asked me if that was a hockey team. This happened New !!!! D:. Die. Die. Die. Die you old fucking that your daughter can take over the team, somehow run it even more into the ground and then sell it and it can move. The fact that the NFL puts your face out there as such a great gives me diarrhea. Charlie: Go to a game and count the number of Coy Wire, Paul Posluzny, or Moorman jerseys the stands. It’s insane.We haven’t made the playoffs 13 years. During that time, our highlights include: 1. Getting beat by the Steelers third stringers the fourth quarter at home Week 16, after which friend punched his dad the face because he had recently moved to Pittsburgh and become a Steelers fan while I, allegedly, cried the stands. 2. Getting beat 8 to 0 by the Browns Week 15 one of the snowiest ever, after which I, allegedly, got a fight with a 70 year old a hotel lobby downtown Cleveland. 3. Beating the Byron Scott Jersey Patriots Week 3 for the first time since I was high school, after which I, allegedly, chugged a full pitcher of beer and poured another one on head before peeing on friend to celebrate.The tailgates are like the Thunderdome, if you added wings and replaced Tina Turner with a mustachioed out-of-work electrician from Tonawanda with a sleeveless You Got The Reich One t-shirt and a skinful of warm Labatt’s.
Dan: Orchard Park is impossible to get to on game day, it’s rife with the most backwards hicks the world, the stadium is the most bare-bones concrete monstrosity I’ve ever seen, and it somehow gets 30 degrees colder there than the city itself. Last game I went to I thought toes were going to fall off. must be sucking heat out of the atmosphere to keep his deflated-balloon heart from withering away. Steve: Go to any Bills blog over the offseason and read the comments. You have grown men who, without a single ounce of irony, refer to watching YouTube montages of a projected 8th round pick from Purdue as watching tape, as though McCarthy has user JimKellyNation_69 on speed-dial. RJ: The best thing that could happen to this team is for their plane to crash on the way back from away game. And they still would not make the front headline on ESPN because no one fucking cares about this team outside the cesspool of WNY.Doug Flutie had one good 1998, and then spent the rest of his career being either mediocre or downright fucking terrible. But you wouldn’t know it from Bills fans who still, to this day, Two Thousand Fucking Thirteen say they Flutie as if he’d still be playing for them if Wade Phillips hadn’t been mean and benched him for.I live close by, the NFL, and decided to get tickets to the Bills last year. First game against KC: Four obese gentlemen then get seated to immediate right, one wearing a Mexican wrestling mask and going by NAAAAACHO and another wearing a hard hat, proceed to lift their shirts and pretend to lick each other to encourage women above them for three quarters. Doesn’t work. behind me leaves after 2nd quarter. Second game against NE: Took a partner from law firm who’s a Pats fan, never been to NFL game. front of us, before kickoff, literally fell over the benches 3 times. Took off his jersey to reveal a large surgery scar. Falls on boss. After the Bills drop three touchdowns the third quarter, a woman starts screaming literal death threats at Pats fans. If I hadn’t been smart enough to take him up front to during warmups, I’d probably have been fired. Third game against TEN: Two guys the section over get a standing, drunken yelling match after one shouts OSKIE WEE WEE and another shouts ARGOOOOOOOS, chants from CFL teams. attending the game alone circa 1992 starter hat gets up literally 15 times during game, asks Quebecers next to us why they’re speaking Spanish. Fourth game against : Complete and total drunken shitfest. Hear from a local that personally banned night until the NFL forced him because the 80’s a climbed to the top of the field goal posts. Fans turn aerial placard thank veterans promo into gigantic cardboard airplanes. Found out the next day a dude from Rochester died, shocked it wasn’t more, and supposedly there were 30 DUI arrests. Had three left.